Have you got a favourite Twitter quote or funny tweet? If so, gently move the eggs to one side and place in the bird’s nest below. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers ‘Bless you’ and hangs up. Imagine this: You’re home alone and you sneeze.Girls: just remember each morning when you put on makeup, somewhere in the world a clown is starting his day doing exactly the same thing.F**k, when did they start using natural ingredients? I just found human hairs in my McDonald’s burger.A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.Did you like our amazing collection of powerful deep life quotes If yes, do let us know in the comment. Deep life quotes can definitely help you move forward and be happy and cheerful. If you’re famous, I don’t for the life of me I don’t understand why any famous person would ever be on Twitter. Apart from various life issues there are some things that can give you hope and happiness to live life in a better way. ![]() I just feel like my life is better without it. I’m not on Twitter or Facebook or anything. I’m sweating like an Iranian nuclear scientist. Twitter Quotes About Life My Twitter reflects what’s going on with me in my life.Have you ever wondered if the money in your wallet was ever in a stripper’s butt crack?.I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water.It got awkward when I ran my fingers through his hair. My doctor was checking my testicles for any lumps the other day.Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously a girl because it won’t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.Most of the time that’s not so bad but New York City? Life is a journey, and if you fall in love with the journey, you will be in love forever. A Christian telling an atheist he is going to Hell is about as scary as a small child telling an adult they won’t get any presents from Santa. Real Twitter About Life Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.A pessimist is someone who looks at the land of milk and honey and sees only calories and cholesterol.Everyone knows the black one runs faster. I don’t see why everybody wants a white iPhone.Distribute the Right Message to the Right Audience. Sometimes a knight in shining armour turns out to be a retard in tin foil. Newswires Press Release Distribution Empowering the Earned Media Advantage.There’s some very funny tweets among this lot. ![]() ![]() That means there’s got to be a helluva lot of funny Twitter quotes being tweeted everyday and after searching around I’ve pulled some of the best funny ones from the dear old bird’s nest. Twitter was created in 2006 and there are now over half a billion people with Tweeter accounts. If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.
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